Update Time!

How is it the middle of August already?! Shoot.

I have officially trooped 3 events since getting my membership with the Rebels. Sand in the City, Monday Night at the Movies, and O! Comic Con. All three were totally different experiences, which makes it more fun.

Sand in the City was a great first troop. I hung out in the shade with my fellow Rebels and a couple Shoretroopers, like sane people. Josh and the other fools (love you, Afton) donning black head-to-toe decided they were tough enough to walk around in the sun. Chumps. Overall, it was a nice day, there was a decent breeze, and with sand whipping around, I made a new friend/human sand shield in Bryan. Thanks, Cheeto!

Monday Night at the Movies was hot, humid, and there was ZERO breeze. We weren't even sure we were going to be able to troop because of the weather. We made it though, and if I hadn't learned it from Sand in the City, I definitely learned here, HYDRATE OR DIE!

O! Comic Con was my first indoor troop, and my first long troop, 5 hours. It was 5 hours of fun though! So much fun, we took the boys the next day, and then I trooped another 5 hours on Sunday. I met Ray Park, and learned I shouldn't be allowed to meet famous people. ZERO. CHILL. He was so great though, and I'm glad I was given the opportunity to meet him! He swung MY staff around. My life is complete.

This weekend will be my first parade, and I'm so excited to suit up again. It's been over a month, and I'm itching to troop!

I need to track down some pictures, and once I do, I'll add them to this post. Or not. I don't know. At least I updated this thing 😊 You can always look me up on Instagram (lindsey_trout), I try to post stuff on there, to include Ray Park's amazingness with my staff, and my son meeting/being terrified by Bossk.

Jensen's Birth Story

It has been one year since Jensen was born. Happy Birthday, Jen! Shortly after he was born, I wrote out a few quick notes, so I wouldn't forget anything from the day. I'm so happy I did that, as I read through my notes, I couldn't help but tear up at the journey of getting to Jen's birth, and the journey we've been on since then. Without making this any longer than it already is, here is Jensen's birth story:

March 31, 2015

We had our weekly appointment, Dr. Hewitt checked me and said I was 2cm and 70% effaced, which seems miles better than it was at the last appointment when she said I was only about 1cm. This time she was able to do a membrane sweep. I convinced myself that I was having this baby on the 3^rd because it was a full moon, so I had 3 days to get this show on the road.

April 2, 2015

Happy birthday Josh! Cole and I celebrated his Daddy’s birthday by being sick. We know how to have a good time, right?! Cole had a fever of about 101, I was sitting at 99.4 and feeling crummy, and crossing my fingers that my temperature wouldn’t go any higher. When I went to the hospital when I was in labor with Coleden, I had a fever and he had to stay in the NICU for monitoring right after he was born. I really didn’t want Jensen following in Cole's footsteps, and luckily, by the next morning we were both feeling much better.

April 3, 2015
Full moon. No baby. Dang it.

April 5, 2015 (Easter)
Around 3am I started having contractions, they were between 8-12 minutes apart. Around 6am, they started slowing. Our Easter was spent with our friends, the Lannings. Cole had fun hunting for eggs and jumping on their trampoline with Sophia. I had occasional contractions, but nothing that had me feeling like we needed to hop in the car right away. We got home around 3:30pm, and about that time my contractions started coming back more regularly. I called Labor and Delivery around 6pm (when contractions ranged from 5-10 minutes), I was told I need to drink a big cup of water within 30 minutes, and take a warm bath. If I continued to have consistent contractions, we should start making our way to Ruidoso. After sticking it out as long as I could, I decided we needed to head to the hospital around midnight. 

April 6, 2015

The hour long drive was not a fun one. First, we needed to get gas, and the gas station on base apparently closes for the night, so we had to drive into Alamogordo to get gas. Second, the normally picturesque drive went completely unseen due to the time of our drive, and lack of street lights.  I hummed my way through contractions, it was the only thing that eased the pain I was feeling.

We finally reached the hospital around 1am. I got hooked up to the monitoring equipment so they could determine if they were going to keep me. I was dilated to 5cm and had very consistent contractions, so I was definitely staying (that took about 30-45 minutes). I was moved to an actual room, and after about 45-60 minutes, Nurse Beth checked me again and said I was at 8-8 1/2cm and 100% effaced. Josh said he overheard them saying they needed to get ahold of Dr. Hewitt and have her get here quickly. Josh hadn't even finished bringing all of our stuff in from the car, and Dr. Hewitt was being told to get here quickly?! This was going so fast, almost too fast. When he brought the last bit of stuff in, Dr. Hewitt had arrived, it was about 3:00.

At this point my contractions became very difficult to handle. I asked Josh to play some music to distract me, he chose my Supernatural soundtrack, it seemed appropriate. I don’t think my nurses were used to women playing music while they labored, they seemed excited to have something to listen to and enjoy while they worked. Oddly enough, hearing them sing along to my music made me relax. It was such a normal thing to do; who doesn’t sing along to music in the car or shower?! I was contracting away, and my nurses were singing along, like it (being in labor) was a normal thing-and it is. It's one of the most natural/normal things there is. It was a sort of ego check. I think I had started feeling sorry for myself, not the kind of sorry where I wanted to be pitied, more like I had begun doubting my body. I had to have a cesarean with Coleden, and that experience weighed heavily on my self-confidence. Who knew something as simple as a couple of nurses singing along to The Animals "House of the Rising Sun" would give me peace of mind? It made me refocus. There’s a quick little passage in Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth that always stuck with me. One of the women that shared her story commented saying “Then I thought, no, I’m supposed to be having a baby here, not thinking of myself!” I couldn’t have said it better myself. So stop worrying about the past, and focus on right here, right now; and from here on out, nothing but positivity.

My nurses knew how I needed to be spoken to in order for me to stay focused. I was able to concentrate on my body and my contractions, while they prepared my room for delivery and continued to encourage me at all the right times.

I do want to take a moment to give Josh a lot of credit. With Cole, I wanted Josh right next to me, I needed him to hold my hand, to stroke my hair. I needed that constant touch to help me through each contraction. This time around, he was trying to do the same thing, but I was so overstimulated that I couldn’t be touched. I felt like I was hurting his feelings, but I didn’t have the ability to express how I was feeling, I could only speak in monosyllables and even that was proving difficult. He never skipped a beat, he stopped touching me and kept encouraging me and reinforcing what the nurses told me. He was doing everything he could to be my amazing support, and I cannot begin to express the gratefulness I felt to have him by my side.

Around 3:20, Dr. Hewitt broke my waters and told me it was time to push. I pushed 2 or 3 times and began to panic, this was the point I had gotten to with Cole and wasn’t able to go any further and I ended up with a cesarean. This was now new territory, and I was desperate to have the birth I envisioned, so when Dr. Hewitt told me to focus on her words and push, I did exactly that.

At 3:34am Jensen Luca Trout was born, weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces, and he was 20 inches long. I have never been more proud of myself than in that moment when I got to hold my brand new baby (I wasn’t given that opportunity with Coleden). I remember looking into Josh’s eyes and seeing so much love in his eyes, our family was complete, and we couldn’t wait to find out more about this tiny little human, with his new baby smell.

Josh stayed with me for a few hours, then made a trip back home to make sure Cole was okay, since we left in the middle of the night, he would be waking up to our friend, Billy (remember the Lannings from earlier? Guys, seriously, these people are the best. I wish everyone had a Billy and Shelby of their own.), and wanted to make this huge change feel a little less huge for the newest big brother. 

When Josh came back up to the hospital, he did so without Cole (he still had the sniffles from a few days prior).  Now that it was daylight, Josh commented on how freckly I was looking, and how he had no idea hormones could make freckles pop so much. After taking a closer look we realized that I had actually popped all the blood vessels in my face and neck when I was pushing Jensen out, but somehow didn’t burst the blood vessels in my eyes-weird. Even Dr. Hewitt was impressed and couldn’t figure out how I managed that.

Jensen and I were released the following day, but we ended up having to go back to the hospital for a couple of days in Alamogordo because Jensen’s bilirubin levels were crazy-high. Eventually he evened out and we were able to start our lives as a family of four.

It has been a blast to watch Jensen grow this last year. His personality is so bubbly, and happy, and I wouldn’t change a thing about him. I’m very grateful to be this little boy’s mama. Jensen, you made a dream of mine come true. You gave me my confidence back. You have a piece of my heart, and I hope you know that your daddy and I will always be there for you and your brother. I love you, Jensen Luca. Always.

11 months

Jensen, it is so hard to believe that you are 11 months old. Like in 1 month, you will be an entire year old! The party planning is already under way, and we can't wait to celebrate you, but while we wait for that fun day, you should know that in the last month you/r/re:

• went from taking a few steps, to practically sprinting everywhere you go
• favorite pastime is probably splashing in the tub  
• can stand up without any assistance 
• give sloppy, open-mouthed kisses; and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world
• really good at waving bye-bye 
• have at least 10 teeth, and I'm pretty sure there are 2 more on the verge of popping through
• realized you can just hand Nessa food, and she will give you love and attention (and lick you, which you get a kick out of)
• love carrying books and pillows around

One of my favorite things that I don't think I have mentioned yet, but I don't want to forget, is when you stretch out as long as you can when I put you in your crib, and then as soon as I put your blanket on you, you turn into a little ball of sleepiness. 

To anyone reading this, keep an eye out in the next couple of weeks for Jensen's birth story. I have been working on since he was born, and I can't wait to share it with everyone!

10 months

10 months. 10 months. 10 MONTHS! Wow. Very soon this little boy will be turning 1 and it is becoming more clear than ever, just how quick this year is going by. In 2 very short months, you will be turning a year old. I am so excited to start planning your birthday party! This last month you/r/re:

• have taken a few steps by yourself! It's only a matter of time before we're chasing you around. 
• brother has taken more of an interest in you, and likes playing with you. I think it's because there is so much more you can do, and he excited to be brothers with you.
• love dancing, and you laugh the whole time you do it
• Nessa's favorite. Don't tell Coleden ;) She adores you, and even lets you pull her ears, something she NEVER let Cole do. She's become very patient in her old age.
• favorite foods: pancakes/waffles, lima beans, grapes, oyster crackers, and string cheese
• added "hey" to your vocabulary, plus you've started to imitate a lot of sounds!
• have 5 teeth, working on numbers 6 & 7.
• eyes have not turned brown. I think the blue might be sticking around!
• skin has become super dry, especially around your mouth, we've tried explaining that if you'd stop sucking your fingers, you wouldn't have as much of an issue with this, but you won't listen (hehe). But really, winter is kind of kicking our butts right now.
• love your Cabbage Patch Doll, and we finally have a name for him (we lost the little birth certificate that they come with, and I can't remember the name he was given), Phillip. His name is Phillip. Cole named him, I don't know where he heard that name, but I think he looks like a Phillip!

9 months

Jensen, I feel like you have grown so much in the last month. It also seems like I say that every month, but it is nonetheless true. Your personality is becoming more and more pronounced. Everyone that meets you says that you are the happiest baby! For the most part that's true, but with 4 teeth coming in at once, I don't blame you for being a little cranky the last few weeks. Let's get to it, in the last month, you:

• stand alone for a few seconds
• give kisses
• point at mom and dad, and giggle
• love eating real food (non-purees), especially peas, bananas, and green beans
• started dancing (you bounce up and down while standing, and shake your head)
• drink water from a sippy cup
• can say Mama, Dada, and yeah (although, I'm not sure any of those have meaning just yet)
• recognize your name
• sing along with Cole when he sings (I don't know that either of you is singing the same song though)

Favorites things: crawling (toward the bathroom especially), taking baths, when Nessa licks you, Coleden, your motorcycle (it plays the jams you like to dance to the most), listening to music, pulling people's hair, and when Coleden pushes you over.

Not-so-favorite things: diaper changes, hats, having your nose wiped, nasal aspirator, when mom or dad leave your sight (even for just a second), baby food with bits of food in it (is it a puree, is it table food, the world may never know), and socks.

Height: 28.5", 58 percentile

Weight: 18 pounds, 22 percentile

8 months

Jensen is officially 8 months old! Well, he has been for a few days. I took a round of pictures of him on the 6th (his official 8 month), but I foolishly didn't check my camera settings before shooting, and they all came out off. So we re-shot, and they are much better this time around.

This little boy is growing leaps and bounds, it's incredible to watch him learn, and figure things out. It's been a busy month for my squirrel baby, he:

• is starting to recognize his name
• survived his first brother-inflicted goose egg
• loves when Coleden shares his cars and Legos
• likes spending time with his cousin, Hadley, but doesn't understand that it's bad manners to poke her eyeballs
• thinks it's funny when Coleden rolls on top of him
• makes the best facial expressions, his I'm-judging-you face is the funniest
• is crawling as fast as lightning
• learned to stand up on his own, and is already cruising on the furniture
• discovered Nessa's food bowl, and will make a break for it any chance he gets
• likes sleeping on his belly with his arms tucked in and legs spread out
• has been jabbering for a while now, but the last few weeks, it actually seems like he's trying to tell us something
• is obsessed with rainmaker toys, Cheerios, and biting toes

I started taking Jen's picture and these two goons jumped in. I think this was the 4th or 5th photo of the bunch. Is this their way of telling me I take too many pictures? They hear the shutter, that means you ham it up and pop into your brother's photo session, duh.

7 months

Jensen Luca, I can't believe you're 7 months old already. You have grown by leaps and bounds, and your Daddy and I are so proud of you. Time is flying by, and in the last month, you:

• sit unsupported
• can go from tummy to sitting up
• rode in a shopping cart, like a big boy for the first time
• are the king of the army crawl
• love feeding yourself Gerber Graduates Puffs
• want to stand up in the worst way, but just haven't figured it out yet, but soon...
• were the Robin to your brother's Batman, and you two were the cutest dynamic duo
• tried and loves pickles (boy after my own heart!) 
• laugh like a maniac when your brother drags you around by your ankles
• started saying "Mama, Dada, hey"
• light up like a Christmas tree when Coleden gives you a good night kiss (all Coleden's idea)

Favorites include: blowing rasperries, sleeping in your crib, sweet potatoes, "Welcome to Duloc" song (from Shrek), when Mama reads "The Big Pumpkin," and anything Coleden does.

Anniversaries and New Adventures

Whoa, I'm doing a blog post about something other than my kids?! Craziness.

Friday, Josh and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. If you would've asked us on our wedding day what we thought the next six years would be like, I guarantee you, our first year of marriage would've been the only one we would've been close to guessing correctly.

Five years ago today, everything in our lives changed, Josh joined the Air Force. If I had to timeline our journey in a few short words I'd say: San Antonio, Biloxi, Germany, Coleden, Travel, Ethiopia, New Mexico, and Jensen. The long version looks more like this:

San Antonio. Josh left for Basic. At the time, it was the hardest experience we ever met. I think the longest we'd gone without seeing and talking to each other was like a week. It was definitely a long 8 1/2 weeks. I felt so proud watching Josh graduate from BMT, I got to meet this different part of Josh, and fall in love with him all over again.

Biloxi. We moved to Mississippi for Josh's technical school. For the first time in my life, I wasn't living in Nebraska, where the majority of my family lives. Biloxi will always have a special place in my heart. I had the pleasure of meeting some of my favorite people. Good times were had, and memories were made. Leighann, I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your picture of us!

Germany. We found out we would be living in Germany for three years, at first we were scared. We had just found out we were pregnant with our first child, and now we're moving halfway across the world?! Our time in Germany felt like a long honeymoon of sorts. It was just Josh and I (and eventually Coleden), figuring things out. Once we found our rhythm, we fell in love. Whether it was the food, the views, or the people, it was an unforgettable experience, and I look forward to the day we get to go back and visit!

Coleden. Our beautiful moose baby! He made me a mommy and taught me a new kind of love. He has the kindest heart, and the best sense of humor. I love who he is becoming, and I can't wait to watch him grow up with his brother.

Travel. We were given the opportunity to travel Europe, maybe not as much as we would've liked, but all things considered, we did a pretty good job. We went places I never would've imagined being able to go to, and most of it was done with an infant/toddler!

Ethiopia. We found out Josh would be deploying to Ethiopia. It felt like my heart had broken into a million pieces. Watching Josh say goodbye to Coleden, and knowing Cole had no idea what was happening was so hard to see, but seeing them reunited was by far one of my favorite moments

New Mexico. Josh extended his enlistment so we could get stateside. We thought it'd be easier for Josh to find a job if we were only dealing with an hour time difference, rather than seven or eight.

Jensen. This little boy gave me something he'll never truly understand-peace of mind. I never truly accepted my cesarean. I felt like if things had been different, I could've had the birth I wanted/envisioned. Jensen gave me that opportunity, and he also put to rest a lot of self-doubt I had felt. He's curious, and adventurous, and I think he'll keep us on our toes as he grows up!

I started this blog as a way to remember our Air Force adventures. Now it's more like a digital baby book, and that's okay. Our journey with the Air Force has come to an end, but our journey as a family has just begun. I don't know what will happen with this blog, but if you're taking time to read this, I want thank you for being part of this experience.